Gene Richards

April 6, 2011

According to the Gods: a 2011 Team-By-Team Preview

San Diego Padres

At a certain point, you learn that you aren’t very powerful. You start choking up, just a little at first, hoping to retain a shred of the primal illusion of willful potency. You choke up some more, and then some more. Results are dubious. There’s no right way. What can be done? You keep choking up. Dreams of long ball glory recede beyond reach. In the end, you cling only to a hope for continued survival and, at most, tepid sporadic connection. Your posture is suggestive of a cringe. There’s no way to avoid the moment, sooner or later, of complete usurpation. To exist is ridiculous. You exist, you exist.


How to enjoy the 2011 baseball season, part of 22 of 30: Consider the fate of Mascots Who Have Come and Gone Leaving Nary a Trace, for example (via Gaslamp Ball), Bluepper


2011 previews so far: St. Louis Cardinals; New York Mets; Philadelphia Phillies; Washington Nationals; Pittsburgh Pirates; Arizona Diamondbacks; Colorado Rockies; New York Yankees; Cleveland Indians; Detroit Tigers; Milwaukee Brewers; Minnesota Twins; Atlanta Braves; Cincinnati Reds; Oakland A’s; Seattle Mariners; Chicago Cubs; Baltimore Orioles; [California] Angels; Texas Rangers; Boston Red Sox


  1. I think this may be the most Wilkeresque blog entry of them all.

  2. I remember this card. I don’t think I ever saw anyone choke up on a bat more than this. He somehow managed to hit 26 career HRs with that stance.

  3. The choking up on the bat is Felix Millanesque.

  4. Yeah, I also think of Milan as the king of the choke-up.

  5. I agree with Ken. This is a very fine distillation of the entire Cardboard Gods experience. Well done, Josh.

  6. As usual Matt Blankman is never wrong when he sends me a link to a cardboard gods’ post. Great one today. But may I make a small suggestion? Occasionally show us the back of a card. I want to see the lifetime stats for a guy like this. *See*. Card backs are part of the fun. Your blogazine is inspiring. Thanks for that.

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