Technical Difficulties

September 17, 2008

My Internet connection broke on Sunday and as yet is still broken. I’ve spent a lot of time on hold, listening to one endless instrumental song, staring out at a street devoid of repair vans, using all my might to restrain myself from smashing myself in the head. No Cardboard Gods until that situation is resolved (the Internet connection situation, that is, not the own-head-punching situation, which will probably take years of therapy or arm amputation to bring to a close).


  1. 1.  At least they didn’t play “Horse With No Name.”

  2. 2.  1 : Bob, that is very true. That abomination is probably my least favorite song in all creation.

  3. 3.  “There were plants and birds and rocks and things…”
    That’s some fancy songwritin’ there.

  4. 4.  And as a copy editor, proofreader, and writer, you must love:

    “cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain'”

  5. 5.  Man, I wish I could remember who said that “Horse With No Name” was about a kid who “thinks he dropped acid”. I’ve made my peace with the 70’s and the ghastly pop music that decade spawned, but even so…

    Anyway, get well soon, Josh’s Internet connection.

  6. 6.  5 According to wikipedia, “Randy Newman once described it as a song ‘about a kid who thinks he’s taken acid'”.

    Damn that song is terrible. I learned that it knocked “Heart of Gold” off the perch to be the number 1 song. Go fig. One damn guitar chord over and over and over.

  7. 7.  As I was telling Josh the other day, I saw a Cardboard Deity (Luis Tiant) at a comics and cards shop down the street from me Saturday. They had a banner up all week that said that “Louis TIant” was coming. I paid $7 for a glossy that, as it turns out, is the same pic from his 1975 Topps card. I was able to talk to him briefly and mentioned that I was working on a bio of a teammate of his dad and that teammate happened to hail from a neighborhood not that far away. I need to frame the thing and put it next to my Jim Willoughby one.

  8. 8.  3 Gold Star For Robot Boy, on the other hand, is a great song. I wouldn’t mind hearing that while I’m on hold, although I’d probably die of shock if it happened.

  9. 9.  Josh,
    Is your internet provider Verizon by any chance?

  10. 10.  9 : It’s At&T, and my rage at them has abated since I’ve learned that my continuing lack of Internet at home is due to a problem with phone lines all over the (Chicago) area. The torrential rains over the weekend did a number on everything, I guess. Being without Internet leaves me still a hell of a lot luckier than a lot of people around here whose houses were submerged in water, everything in them ruined.

  11. 11.  You all left out the best/worst line from “A Horse With No Name,” — “…the heat was hot.”



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