Mickey Klutts
November 29, 2007
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I swear. Today is already off to a shaky start, so I might as well treat it like I usually treat my days, i.e., as if there are an endless supply of them, so who cares if I let this one sort of slip from my fingers. Yesterday my plan for today was to wake early and write with the ferocity of a coked-up Lawrence Taylor hitting a tackling sled, write like words were the only way to extinguish a grease fire climbing my clothes, write like Jack Kerouac ascending a clattering typewriter solo to heaven. But when I actually got up today I first checked the status of my Strat-O-Matic 1970s league team, then checked that I was able to pick up new Bears starter Adrian Peterson for my fantasy football team, then checked results from my two fantasy basketball teams (“I can’t keep up with all your fantasy worlds,” my wife recently said as I stared at one or another of my rosters), then I tried to write about Tree Rollins, of all things to start the first day of the rest of my life writing about, then I gave up, then I started thinking about getting ready for work, then I started envisioning the long commute, the many hours at my job, the long commute home, the two beers and pile of food for dinner, the Thursday night comedy lineup, and unconsciousness. Today is shot. But tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I swear.
Cardboard Gods 
1. I know those sentiments all too well, Josh. I often use my job as the scapegoat: I’d get so much more writing done if I didn’t have to spend so much time focused on my gainful employment. But if I were home all day, I’d just waste it. That’s how the weekends go. Hopefully Christmas preparations will be enough to stem the tide of my season affective disorder for another month.
2. I’m not sure if the Klutts card is because of his comical name, or because of his clear, eager gaze into the future–“I WILL succeed tomorrow!”–or both.
My sentiments are the same as this when it comes to physical fitness. Especially so having just gorged at the Thanksgiving dinner table. But if I get up at 5am to work out, then the dog will have to go out then, and if I want to work out after dinner, it cuts into quality time at home, and more excuses, and then I have another Ring Ding. Bring on the Christmas cookies.
3. How does a day go when you admit defeat before the sun has even climbed up over the buildings? Well, so far, not too bad. On the train I got to read from a great novel called The Fan Man, for one thing, the pure ravings of Horse Badorties, nutjob quixotic beatnick. “That’s how it goes, man,” he says at one point, “life brings mistakes with it too…”
4. I went to high school with Mickey and still keep in touch with him. He was plagued by injuries most of his major league career. I could tell lots of stories about him, but by favorite one he wasn’t even present for. When Cal Ripken was running down Lou Gehrig’s consecutive game streak record I was in a local neighborhood bar that Mickey frequented when he was in town. He wasn’t there that night but those of us who were were watching the Orioles play the Angels. They were comparing Ripken’s longevity to Mickey’s. Mickey spent more days on the disbaled list during his major league career than he actually played in games. There was Ripken’s consecutive game streak posted next to a baseball card of Mickey’s (I think it was the 81 Donruss) with his days spent on the disbaled list next to the number of games he played. Since everyone in the Tamarack knew Mickey, we were all laughing at the stat. Mick usually shows up at his old high school (El Rancho) for at least one football game a year wearing his 78 World Series ring from the Yankees. He played in last summer’s oldtimers game that marked the 77 team. Thanks, Josh for posting this. A footnote: The Yankees’ scout who signed him to his first contract was Clyde Klutz, an old catcher.
5. 4 : Thanks a lot for that story, Bubba. Great footnote, too.
The records show Mickey was a pretty good hitter for a utility infielder. The year this card came out he had a career high in RBI (21) and had a plus-.700 OPS. Not too shabby.
6. goddammit Josh! stop writing about my life!! LOL
rgds
will
7. It’s tomorrow. How’s everyone doing?
8. My first thought on reading comment 7 was, “Damn you, chiros13, for holding me accountable to yesterday’s promises!” But then I recalled the sweet loophole of the chronic procrastinator: technically speaking, it’s never tomorrow!
As to the actual doings of the day after yesterday: I once again got up early with the intention of writing about Wayne “Tree” Rollins, and again I failed to write about Wayne “Tree” Rollins, but I did get some words down about something else. It was a decent failure, as failures go.
9. Was Klutts part of the trade package that landed the Yankees Rickey Henderson? I think Fred “The Chicken” Stanley may have been part of the package as well. There was probably at least one other player as well (maybe a pitcher), but I can’t think of who.
10. 9 : No, Klutts (and a guy named Dell Alston) netted the Yankees Gary Thomasson.
Here’s the Rickey deal:
December 5, 1984: Traded by the Oakland Athletics with Bert Bradley and cash to the New York Yankees for Stan Javier, Jay Howell, Jose Rijo, Eric Plunk, and Tim Birtsas.
(footnote: Plunk also came back to the Yankees when they shipped Rickey back to Oakland in ’89)
11. When I was a kid, Mickey’s rookie card (http://www.survivinggrady.com/paulcard.jpg) was the most valuable one I had.
12. 11 : Boy, they really jammed Mickey in with a bunch of nobodies in that card.
Hi Mickey, congrats! i hope you remember me I’m Monica Gonzalez from Gemco. I hope all is well with you. Take care, Monica Gonzalez Brown