According to the Gods: a 2011 Team-By-Team Preview
San Diego Padres
At a certain point, you learn that you aren’t very powerful. You start choking up, just a little at first, hoping to retain a shred of the primal illusion of willful potency. You choke up some more, and then some more. Results are dubious. There’s no right way. What can be done? You keep choking up. Dreams of long ball glory recede beyond reach. In the end, you cling only to a hope for continued survival and, at most, tepid sporadic connection. Your posture is suggestive of a cringe. There’s no way to avoid the moment, sooner or later, of complete usurpation. To exist is ridiculous. You exist, you exist.
2011 previews so far: St. Louis Cardinals; New York Mets; Philadelphia Phillies; Washington Nationals; Pittsburgh Pirates; Arizona Diamondbacks; Colorado Rockies; New York Yankees; Cleveland Indians; Detroit Tigers; Milwaukee Brewers; Minnesota Twins; Atlanta Braves; Cincinnati Reds; Oakland A’s; Seattle Mariners; Chicago Cubs; Baltimore Orioles; [California] Angels; Texas Rangers; Boston Red Sox