The scowling, afroed, and fiercely weary mug-shot profile on his ’75 card with the O’s remains particulary vivid in my memory.

BUT, yes, there’s another perfect example of a guy whose name was veritably unpronouncable and thus fluid in my mind’s private soundtrack during any and all baseball-card-related activities.

“Koo-ler?” “Kool-Yer?” “Kool-yoo-ler?”
“Kway-yar!?”

Thank heavens cellular phones weren’t yet on the scene…

I never knew how to pronounce this particular hurler’s name, and have no memory of ever hearing it pronounced by the Kiner/Murphy/Nelson greek chorus of my childhood listening dramas.

I did, however, have his card several times over with the Phillies and White Sox.

When his card would partake in some intricately devised contest (and there were many) I never knew how exactly to pronounce the name. What was his Identity?
Who, exactly, Was he?

Was it “Shoo-lur?” “Skool-yer?” Some bastrdized combination of “Skewer” or “Shooooer?”

Perhaps on account of it being the late ’70s, and my youthful fascination with Star Wars, Micronauts, Shogun Warriors, and all things somehow science-fiction related erupting in full bloom, the surname of the man pictured went through various incarnations of pronunciation.

Before he developed a vaguely sci-fi-ish, outer-spacey moniker as unique as the moon dust that finally settled on my card-collecting days.

“Shway-yar.”

After a certain point he just became Ron “Shway-ar.” Like a Quasar. Or a Pan-Galactic Transport of some hazy order.

Long after he hung up the cleats, RON “SHWAY-AR” still rose to super-nova-like heights in the numerous games I’d devise in my bedroom, his appearance always bringing with it some slight futuristic sense of hope and other-worldly triumph.

I still don’t know how his name is actually pronounced.

the first computer that got me was at Chelsea House, a horrid old PC that ran on DOS and featured blinking orange characters. years before real graphics.

but it ran Strat-o-matic

I occasionally even beat your brother in a game or two.

and as a smoker, the nicotine reference is spot-on.

although on second thought that might be in and of itself the problem.

I don’t own a TV because I tend to get lost in it when I need to be productive. I thought not having one around would free me up to be productive. Now I get lost in my computer, but at least I find little things like this place as opposed to watching another rerun of Law and Order.